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Published on October 16, 2006 By Buddah Moskowitz In Poetry
Walking from my car to the store
through the parking lot
I wear my game face

it’s the one with the dark fixed gaze
the implicit scowl
my eyebrows forming a ridge intended to intimidate

this is the
“don’t ask me for money”
and “no I’m not signing your petition” face

it’s the “try it and risk the wrath
of my righteous indignation” face

let there to be no mistake:
it’s the “if you fuck with me
I will bite your neck in two” face

when I use this face
I just want to be invisible
and my game face
is the warning
“Do not talk to me.
I’m in a bad mood.
You’ll gain nothing.
Leave me alone.”

It usually works on most people
but every now and then
my gaze slips
and I catch a glimpse of
naked humanity
with scared and searching eyes
needing only from me
a reflection of humanity

and I know
that were the situation reversed
I would not want to be invisible
I would want to be seen, validated

and then I see
the homeless veteran
the immigrant mother with hungry children
and others crippled by shyness and fear

and I wonder if
when I go to God
will He look upon me
with His game face?

When I need confirmation
when I come to Him seeking succor
will He just keep walking past me?

Invariably I stop and the mask melts away

but I damn it
want to be angry and unapproachable!

there are some days when it’s all too much and I need my solitude!
I need my Me Time!

some people don’t have the luxury
of being able to choose
whether they need people or not

and when I think of all the ways
I have been blessed
the mask comes off

and when I think of all
the anger and misunderstanding I foment
the mask comes off

when I think of how far I’ve walked away
from God and everyone else on the planet
the mask comes off

some days
the game face wins

but most days
it comes off.


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Comments
on Oct 16, 2006
The gane face, AKA as the Go To Hell look. Heh, I know it WELL. Use it all the time.
This reminds me of a girl I work with, she's only 25 and drop dead good lookin' but she can throw a cold Go To Hell look that'll stop your heart. It amazes me when she does that because I know lots of killers that can't touch her look.

But she can look real fine and use that to her advantage too when she wants to.

And yeah, I sometimes methinks God's got the best game face of all.
on Oct 16, 2006
Oh, and BTW: another good one! I gotta get you to show me the ropes on this poetry thang one a these days...
on Oct 16, 2006
Mr. Shuv, As someone who reads your effortless and graceful kick-in-the-gut prose with great joy and small envy, your words are praise of the highest order.
I don't know poetry but I know what I like.

thanks again - the modest Moskowitz
on Oct 16, 2006
I had my game face on today. Shitty day it was. It takes a lot of effort to keep that game face on. I couldn't let it go today and I sooooo wanted to. This was a good time for me to read this. It hit the spot.Thanks.

Kelly