I pulled the card
and it read:
“If God could grant you
any three things
right now
what would they be?”
First,
I just want to
Know
not know what
others know
but just
to know.
I see those unbothered
by the apparent
contradictions and inconsistencies
and they can believe
so why can’t I?
Some tell me
“maybe you’re trying
too hard”
like I’m trying to
explain a joke or
understand how a
frog works
by dissection:
either way you kill it
in the process.
Some say
“you’re a Christian,
you just don’t know
it yet”
and as I prophesize their
unknown paths
I wonder
“maybe you’re an atheist,
and you just don’t know it yet.”
and what about the
great unwashed
and unwhite masses
in foreign lands
with different hues and eyes
what if we bring them
the gospel and they respectfully
do not prefer it
to their totems and idols?
are we all to be burned as though
we weren’t Your creation?
And
if it really is a gift of grace,
why make me ask for it
especially when You know
that I’m trying as hard as I can?
You see the rosebud
deep in the core
of my soul
I pray You see me
not as your Earthbound
followers see me
with disdain or pity
or scorn
or good old plain misunderstanding
I know You hear
my questioning
without blasphemy
this is my passion
this is my suffering
I do not know
and yet I persevere
I’m not going to try
to fool You
and I know You know
I have to do this my way
perhaps before
wanting to belong to Jesus
I want Jesus to belong to me
as much as I want
to guide and control this
it’s too big for me
I’ll just have to trust You
for now.
Wishes two and three?
A pizza
and a Coke.
So why haven't you bought my book? Remedy that here!