Usually I'm the first one
ready on Sunday morning
to go to church
it's Discovery Christian Church
and I take my Christian wife
and my Christian kids
and we sit down front
the Jewish infiltrator
with his goyishe posse
are in the shul
in my brief tenure
as the ostensible Christian
I have been asked
to lead a Bible study
and to give my testimony
on how Jesus
has helped me maintain
my sobriety
and it's always a little awkward
when I have to decline:
"well, thank you,
that's very kind of you,
but I'm Jewish."
thud
that's of sound of their
buoyant enthusiasm
hitting the Semitic ceiling
even though there's
nowhere to go after that
some have tried
"well, you're like the original Christians"
(uh, no we're not)
"well, maybe you can still give your testimony?"
(Jesus didn't save me, remember?)
and one even said
"Sweet, man!"
(Puh-leeze.)
I reluctantly give up
my Jewish anonymity
not out of embarrassment
but more because
when I am in cognito
I get to observe this Christian culture
up-close, in their native habitat
like the trained sociologist I am
and I get to test the central hypotheses
of their faith:
are they transformed?
are they not of this world?
I listen to their words
but put more stock into their actions
and there is integrity
and for those who know
my secret identity
and are holding out hope
thinking that someday I'll come around
to them I say:
I don't think so
but
you've treated me kindly
and accepted me
and maybe even loved me
even though I wasn't one of you
and that's the most persuasive argument
of all.
I'm sure you make Jesus proud
not because you know what Jesus said
but because you do what Jesus did.
Shalom.